5 Life Traps to Avoid
5 Life Traps to Avoid
Seeking compliance rather than change

Some people will continue to isolate themselves from people who disagree with them or challenge their thoughts.  They seek ‘yes’ people and tend to manipulate, dependable and helpful personalities.

Many animals and reptiles change to adapt to their surroundings for survival reasons.  This is no different from how you need to adapt to the changes that appear in your life or relationships.  By this same token people who have a tougher time with change can also be frustrated by those around them that handle change better, furthermore, (as a last-ditch effort forcing the person who is able to change into situations in which they would need to comply or face further rejection).

When my life is ____then I will_____.

This is conditional sort of thinking applies conditions without allowing for change, allowing improvements to only be made on contingencies of things.  This dynamic can often be found in narcissistic relationships.  What really stops you from viewing that you do have satisfaction in life and everything else that comes along is the extra?  It doesn’t mean that you will desire your goals less it is just that you will allow yourself to appreciate them more because you gave pause and to let yourself enjoy each achievement.

Trap of indecision

Just make the choice, deciding by default can leave a higher sense of shame of indecision and can leave you feeling stuck after the forced default.  Making a choice can leave the individual with a sense of accomplishment even if the choice requires some alterations.

Thinking you can do nothing because you can only do a little

Some years, weeks or days are better than others and sometimes injury or health issues can make our abilities or accomplishments tougher.  We often take what we were once able to achieve and if that decreases a little, view it as a complete inability or a zero on the happiness scale.  True measures of nothing, real measures of zero need to be established when fatalistic thinking kicks in.

Shoulding

If you want to work out and don’t feel like it at first don’t say you should go work out. First you must go through the checks, do you have your workout clothes on when you make that choice?  Maybe you tell yourself you don’t work out as long you would normally, maybe you change up the routine.  Should only creates more shame about an expectation of an activity. Should only implies an intent but not a plan, or a way to get closer to your goal.   To implement language change, replace ‘should’ with “what I can do is____”.   Concentrating on what you can do on that day, at that moment and not what you should do helps with feelings of defeat or lack of motivation.  For example, if you can’t get to gym, you can take a short walk, focus on stretching, eat healthier that day, you can find a compromise if you are willing to pause, give yourself a break and implement a strategy that still has you working on your goal just in a different manor

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